the sex tape saga and my 5cents on Heroine..


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Help!!  Are sex tapes invading Bollywood, too, now? I wanted to google the topic but didn’t want to expose my pc to a virus by visiting dubious sites. So from what I could see, the only thing that kept coming up on first search was Bipasha Basu and Malika Sheravat and I don’t know if any of those are real to begin with, and/or certifiably leaked anythings :-)

If you check out Hollywood’s sex tape scandals, the list is LONGGGG! Paris leading the pack with her famous entree. Even I can remember the scandal and how her career took off subsequently. Miley Cyrus, formerly known as goodie girl, has made quite a turnaround and I guess her leaked stuff hasn’t done anything good to her career. Scarlett Johansson? I was surprised. Ke$sha? didn’t check it out but UGLY squared.  Rihanna? prob leaked it herself..haha. Kanye West? geez. who wants to know?  tattooed Pete Wentz? brutally ugly. Chris Brown? omg, I’ll get slapped!  All I could think of is, rule of thumb, I like my celebrities better with clothes on.

Decades after Paris Hilton (was she the first one?) rose to notoriety because of a leaked sex tape, Kim Kardashian’s mom now being accused by some of leaking her own daughter’s to achieve the same goal (if she did it or not, it proved to be a mega success turning all her daughters into cash cows).

Finally the sex tape saga has reached Mumbai’s shores, making it a climax in an unsympathetic movie about Bollywood’s film industry, Heroine. I hope Madhur Bhandarkar didn’t start a fad here! I love my beautiful actresses in saris and salwar kamiz, or ok mini skirts and I am not in the least curious with whom they share their intimate moments. I hope our beautiful Indian heroines will never have to steep that low to fare well at the box office. But maybe I am naive.

I think if Bhandarkar had made a satire and dressed up the subject as a comedy it might have fared better altogether, because if that’s BW reality, then it’s pretty pathetic. Poor famous girl. How my heart goes out to you…. :-) last resort a sex tape? oh dear how scandalous. naughty naughty.

None of the characters in Heroine came across as likeable which made it hard for me to get emotionally involved. If you can’t touch my heart I can’t follow your pathos. Halfway through the second part of the movie, you just want it to END, but no. You’ll have to sit through several “2months later” “2years later”. As I am reaching the peak of my patience, our heroine, Mahi, played by Kareena Kapoor, drops the bombshell.

She can avoid her looming professional demise, she confides to her PR manager, by leaking a holladi hi-holladi-ho sex tape to the press!  Sex tape which A) just shows a grainy cellphone video recording of her in an embrace with B) her co-star, Aryan (Z-gorgeous Arjun Rampal), who really, we find out, deep down is just a repenting sorrytushie  who’s trying to salvage her from the inevitable death sentence handed to actresses past 30.  Loverboy Aryan, sex-tape-humiliated, has to use the last resort: delete Mahi’s phone number from his handy. Duh! That’s harsh. The poor guy has to hold back his  tears. ( were you counting the number of guys u deleted from ur contacts within the last few years? and without shedding a tear? :-)

Okay, so Aryan was giving it his best shot to come up with a make-or-break movie with ‘babes’ Mahi, (who btw starts resembling more and more Linda Blair in The Exorcist ), who not being aware of his last minute heroism, deviously pulls out 20 seconds of their raw cellphone passion and leaks it to public.

‘If I fail at reviving my career I can still buy a cricket team?’ Was that godforbid geared at our poor Preity? All these little bits and pieces you could pick up and see where they fit in the gigantic 50,000 piece Bollywood gossip puzzle..made my head spin. I don’t know but I was just turned off by this movie. Honestly. Bhandarkar, Try it again Sam.

 

BTW This film is coming at a time when every weekend we are seeing a new release with a lead actress in her 30s, 40s, 50s!!! which hopefully makes this movie look dated.

 

 

Heroine


 

 

2 months later…

Kareena Kapoor and Paris Hilton have been spotted plotting their comeback, making out in the backseat of a limo in an unspecified European location.

 

 

2 months later…

Madhur Bhandarkar goes back to the drawing board. Heroine blames him for flop and deletes him from her contacts.

 

The End.

 

 

Autumn and winter strike Bollywood gold


Autumn is usually a great season for Bollywood movies. And this one does fulfill all the promises. Our Khan superstar Khan trio, Shahrukh, Salman and Aamir all are coming out with new movies.

On November 13th, there will be two big releases: Son of Sadaar with Ajay Devgn and the much awaited up to last week title-less movie Jab Tak Hai Jaan with Shahrukh and the beautiful Katrina Kaif. We’ll have to see. They will both get released. On the same day? good idea? we shall see… the dates can still change last moment. we’ve seen that before.

Aamir will release Talaash on November 30th and Salman Khan comes out with the sequel to Dabangg Dec 21rst.

But there will be a few good movies in between and here are all the trailers:

21 Sep 2012
Heroine, by Bhandarkar with Kareena Kapoor

28 Sep 2012
OMG Oh My God! with Akshay Kumar and Paresh Rawal

5 Oct 2012
English Vinglish with Sridevi

12 Oct 2012

Aiyyaa with Rani Mukherji

19 Oct 2012
Student Of The Year, Karan Johar’s new film

2 Nov 2012
Luv Shuv Tey Chicken Khurana with Kunal Kapoor. A foodie movie. An Anurag Kashyap production. directed by Sameer Sharma

Ishkq In Paris: Preity Zinta’s comeback movie..

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LSTCK, I am a bit pessimistic. Even though I’ve been looking fwd to it, I doubt it’s big enough for an international release. But I am still hoping. Foodie movies are such rare gems..

13 Nov 2012
Son Of Sardaar Ajay Devgn

Jab Tak Hai Jaan Srk, Katrina Kaif

30 Nov 2012
Talaash Aamir Khan, Rani Mukherji

7 Dec 2012
Khiladi 786 with Akshay Kumar. A sequel to the sequels that put him on the map.

 

 

 

Needless to say, I am in Heaven. Bollywood Heaven :-) …. until cricket season ruins it all again …

 

Heroine songs


Halkat Jawani  bySalim Merchant and Sulaiman Merchant, sung by  Sunidhi Chauhan or  Saaiyaan by my fave Rahat Fateh Ali Khan?

Khwahishein  is beautiful too. Composed by Salim-Sulaiman and exquisitely sung by Shreya Goshal…

 

Beautiful melodies. This is what I love about Bollywood films. Later on, when I recall them, I remember them by their music. I start humming the songs, on my way to work, in the shower. sometimes I wake up to a Bollywood melody and it makes me want to see the movie again.

this never happens when I start thinking of Hollywood films, even though some may have a good soundtrack.  It’s an irony that what I disliked most about Bollywood movies initially, now I love most. I look forward to the moment when the songs get released prior to the movies themselves.

Seeing a film for the first time is like going on a blind date. Bollywood lets you take an advance peek. And when you then come to meet that song again on the silver screen, it’s like meeting a friend.

Bollywood has perfected the art of integrating songs in a movie, may it be  a daydream, a memory, fast forwarding or backtracking in time. Writing a song into a film is a wonderful cinematographic and narrative tool that Hollywood ought to rediscover.

I am definitely going to buy the soundtrack of Heroine.

 

 

Heroine


Song: Saiyaan (Rahat Fateh Ali Khan). Music – Salim and Sulaiman Merchant

Watch the official trailer of “Heroine” which releases on 21st September, 2012. The film is based on the life and times of a superstar heroine from the dream factory we call ‘Bollywood’. The film is a daring, shocking, glamorous, scandalous behind the scenes account of the reality behind the world of glitz and glamour that our film stars inhabit.

Cast Crew :- Kareena Kapoor , Arjun Rampal, Randeep Hooda, Shahana Goswami
Directed By :- Madhur Bhandarkar
Produced By :- UTV Motion Pictures, Bhandarkar Entertainment
Music By :- Salim-Sulaiman

I am a big fan of Madhur Bhandarkar. His films are always interesting. Sometimes I find him too stylized, the ambiance a tad sterile. Something he shares with the Mahesh Bhatt’s type of movies. I am always looking forward to his next film though :-)  and I can’t wait for Heroine.